How To Come Out As Genderfluid | Gender

Coming Out as Genderfluid – A Comprehensive Guide

Understanding and expressing our authentic self is a fundamental aspect of human existence. This article aims to provide guidance, support, and tips for individuals who are exploring their gender identity and considering coming out as genderfluid.

Understanding Genderfluidity

Being genderfluid means your gender identity isn’t fixed; it fluctuates over time. You may feel more masculine some days, more feminine on others, or identify outside these binaries altogether. It’s different from being transgender, where an individual’s gender identity differs from their assigned sex at birth but is usually static. There are also many misconceptions about being genderfluid, with some wrongly assuming it’s just a phase or attention-seeking behavior.

Self-Realization and Figuring Out Identity

Recognizing one’s genderfluid feelings can be a gradual process. It involves introspection, acceptance, and often a period of confusion. During this journey, it’s crucial to practice self-care and seek professional help if needed, such as therapists or counselors specializing in gender issues. At this time you may also be wondering what pronouns are right for you. We believe in going with whatever feels right at the moment. Since your gender is fluid using any set or combination of pronouns is totally valid. Some in the gender-fluid community use they, them, and their pronouns. Others might use she/her/hers, he/him/his, or neopronouns, like xe/xem/xyr. While other gender-fluid people’s pronouns fluctuate along with their gender. On one day, they might prefer they, them, and their, and on another day, they might use she, her, and hers.

Reasons to Come Out as Genderfluid

Coming out as genderfluid is a deeply personal decision and the reasons can vary greatly from person to person. However, here are some common reasons why individuals might choose to come out:

Authenticity: Coming out can be a way of expressing your true self and living authentically. It’s about being honest with yourself and others about your identity.
Self-Acceptance: Coming out can be a step towards accepting and embracing your identity. It can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Building Understanding: Coming out can help educate others about gender fluidity and challenge preconceived ideas about gender.
Support: By coming out, you may find support and solidarity from others who are going through similar experiences or who are supportive of the LGBTQ+ community.
Mental Health: Keeping your identity a secret can often lead to stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Coming out can sometimes alleviate these feelings.
Advocacy: Coming out can be a form of activism. By being open about your identity, you can contribute to greater visibility and understanding of genderfluid and non-binary identities.
Personal Growth: The process of coming out, while challenging, can also lead to personal growth. It can help you become more self-aware and confident in your identity.
Creating Safe Spaces: By coming out, you can help create safe and inclusive spaces for others who may be struggling with their own identity.

Remember, there’s no right or wrong time to come out—it’s a personal journey that should be done at your own pace and when you feel ready.

Preparation and Strategies for Coming Out as Genderfluid

When preparing to come out as genderfluid first consider the timing and setting that will be most comfortable for you. Once you have a time and setting identified you can plan what you want to say and how you want to say it. Writing your thoughts down can be a powerful experience that will allow you to get everything out there that you want to say and sometimes even thoughts you didn’t know you wanted to say. Writing out what you want to say can also help with your recall when you are in the moment. And if all else fails you can at least read from your paper or phone. After writing out what you want to say it is time to anticipate different reactions.

Reactions could range from great to bad and even disappointing. Despite this, if you are able to gauge reactions you can mentally prepare for them and adjust how you come out to people accordingly. For example, if you sense that there may be a negative reaction you can restrict how much detail you share, tell the individual via text, phone call, email or social media, and have self-care strategies in place to help you cope with any stress or negative reactions. On the flip side, if you suspect a positive reaction then you can come out face to face to your friend or family member and share as much detail as you like. Other strategies could be telling one person you trust or a small trusted group first and then expanding from there or starting with a wider circle from the start. Regardless of individual responses you may encounter difficult questions or reactions so be prepared to handle them with patience and grace. Some examples are as follows:

Difficult Questions You May Encounter

“Isn’t this just a phase?”
- Response: Being genderfluid is not a phase but a recognized and valid identity. People who identify as genderfluid experience their gender in a dynamic, changing way.
“Are you sure you’re not just confused?”
- Response: It’s normal to question your feelings when discovering your gender identity. However, identifying as genderfluid is not about being confused—it’s about understanding that one’s gender can be fluid rather than fixed.
“How do you know you’re genderfluid?”
- Response: Just as you know your own feelings and experiences, I understand mine. It’s a deeply personal realization that often comes after much introspection.
“Isn’t it easier just to pick one gender and stick with it?”
- Response: It’s not about what’s easy; it’s about authenticity. For me, being genderfluid reflects my true self.
“What should I call you now, he or she?”
- Response: You can ask me what pronouns I prefer at any given time. Some genderfluid people prefer they/them pronouns, but it varies from person to person.

Negative Reactions You May Receive

Lack of Understanding
- Response: It’s okay if you don’t fully understand this right now. I’m open to sharing more about my experiences and answering any questions you might have.
Stereotyping and Stigmatization
- Response: Stereotypes can be damaging and are often based on misinformation. I’d appreciate it if we could talk openly about my identity without resorting to stereotypes.
Discrimination
- Response: It’s important to remember that everyone deserves respect and understanding. Discrimination based on gender identity is not only hurtful, but it’s also against the law.

Finding Acceptance in Society

Joining supportive communities, whether local groups or online forums, can provide a sense of belonging. Advocacy and education efforts can also help increase societal acceptance. Remember, you have legal rights and protections as a genderfluid individual.

Finding acceptance in society as a genderfluid individual can be a multifaceted process. Here are some strategies based on the various sources:

Self-Expression: According to the IAM Clinic, giving yourself permission to express your chosen gender is an important step towards acceptance. It’s about exploring what identity and expression mean to you and then being who you are, without apology.
Education: Educating those around you about what it means to be genderfluid can help foster understanding and respect. This could involve sharing resources or having open conversations about your experiences (Harvard Health Blog).
Find Allies: Surround yourself with supportive people who accept and respect your identity. Allies can be crucial in advocating for your rights and standing up against discrimination (GLAAD).
Pronouns: Be clear about your preferred pronouns, and don’t hesitate to correct people if they use the wrong ones. This includes incorporating them into introductions, emails, and social media profiles (Stonewall).
Support Groups: Joining support groups or communities of people who share similar experiences can be extremely helpful. These spaces offer a safe environment to express yourself and gain advice from others who understand your journey.
Advocacy: Participate in advocacy efforts to promote wider societal acceptance of genderfluid and non-binary identities. This could involve supporting relevant organizations, participating in events, or using social media platforms to raise awareness.
Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling with acceptance, consider seeking help from professionals such as therapists or counselors who specialize in gender issues. They can provide strategies to cope with any challenges you may face.
Legal Protections: Familiarize yourself with your legal rights to protect yourself against discrimination. This can also involve advocating for more inclusive laws and policies.

Creating Acceptance in Society For Genderfluid Individuals As an Ally

Allies can play a significant role in creating acceptance for genderfluid individuals. Here are some strategies based on the search results:

Introduce Yourself with Your Pronouns: This normalizes the practice of sharing pronouns and makes it easier for others to do the same. It can also help avoid assumptions about someone’s gender (Stonewall).
Speak Up: If you hear someone saying something offensive or misunderstanding genderfluid identities, be an advocate by educating them and correcting misconceptions (USF CAPS).
Educational Resources: Familiarize yourself with topics and best practices on how to support genderfluid and nonbinary individuals. This can involve reading guides or attending workshops (The Trevor Project).
Listen and Follow Thought Leaders: Listen to genderfluid people speaking for themselves and follow thought leaders in the community to stay informed and understand their experiences better (GLAAD).
Outspoken Support: Speak out in support of genderfluid individuals and their rights, especially in larger groups, at work, or at school (National Center for Transgender Equality).
Educate Yourself on Vocabulary: Understanding the language used in the LGBTQ+ community can help you communicate respectfully and correctly (Jefferson Center).
Promote Inclusive Environments: Advocate for policies that improve the climate for genderfluid individuals, such as in workplaces (Harvard Business Review).
Respectful Questions: Ask respectful and appropriate questions to show your interest in understanding their experiences and perspectives better (Straight for Equality).

Remember, being an ally is about more than just supporting genderfluid individuals—it’s about actively working towards acceptance and equality.

Remember, everyone deserves to be accepted for who they are. While this journey can be challenging, it’s also an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.

Support for Those Struggling

If you are an ally and know someone who has come out as genderfluid and is having a difficult time you can make the process smoother by showing support in the following ways.

Encourage them to reach out to supportive communities, online forums, or local groups where they can connect with others who have had similar experiences.
Suggest they seek professional help if needed, such as therapists or counselors specializing in gender issues.
Remind them that it’s okay to set boundaries with people who react negatively or refuse to respect their identity.
Recommend resources like books, websites, and blogs that can provide further information and support.

Support Resources

There are numerous resources available, including helplines, counseling services, books, websites, blogs, support groups, and organizations dedicated to helping individuals navigate their gender identity journey. Here are 10 genderfluid support resources to get you started:

PFLAG – Founded in 1973, PFLAG is the first and largest organization dedicated to supporting, educating, and advocating for LGBTQ+ people and their families.
Healthy Children – This website provides a list of national and international organizations that support families with gender diverse children, as well as excellent books.
The Trevor Project – Provides information, helplines, counseling, and community support for LGBTQ+ folks.
Online Counseling Programs – Provides access to information and ideas about gender diversity to help adolescents and teens build a positive self-image.
Gender Spectrum – Offers online groups and training on support for gender variant children and their families.
USF CAPS – Provides resources at the University of San Francisco, including PFLAG, a great resource for the loved ones of LGBTQI individuals that provides education, advocacy, and support.
UUA Youth – Their website offers resources and links to organizations across the United States.
LGBT Foundation – A national charity delivering advice, support and information services to lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) communities.
Harvard Health Blog – Provides information on supporting gender-fluid youth in making informed decisions about gender-affirming care, such as hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgeries.

Remember, it’s important to reach out for help and support when you need it. There are many resources available to assist you on your journey.

Conclusion

Coming out as genderfluid is a deeply personal journey. While it can be challenging, it’s also an opportunity to live authentically and foster deeper connections with others. Prioritize your well-being and mental health throughout this process. Remember, your gender identity is valid, and your courage to embrace it contributes to a more diverse and understanding world.

Let your fluidity flow,

Gallus Ogdoad